If you've ever wondered whether you're one of only a handful of people into this, the research says no. BDSM interest has been measured by real surveys for decades, and it's consistently a lot more common than the stereotype of a small fringe group.
The numbers, from actual studies
A 2015 survey of 2,021 American adults, run by researchers at Indiana University and published in the journal PLoS One, found real, mainstream levels of interest:
| Activity | Share of American adults who'd tried it |
|---|---|
| Spanking (giving or receiving, for sexual pleasure) | 30% |
| Dominant/submissive roleplay | 22% |
| Being restrained | 20% |
| Flogging | 13% |
A separate survey of 30,000 Americans, run by the condom maker Durex, found that 36% of U.S. adults had used a blindfold or other BDSM gear during sex. A large 2015 survey out of Norway found that around a third of adults admitted to some form of BDSM play — a different country, but in the same range as the American numbers, which suggests this isn't a uniquely American thing either.
None of this is new. A 1971 University of Miami study already found that 8% of men and 5% of women said they'd tried BDSM play, decades before the internet made any of this easier to find or talk about.
Does it actually affect relationships?
A 2018 study published in Sexual and Relationship Therapy compared couples who practice BDSM with couples who don't, and found the same level of relationship satisfaction in both groups. Other research has pointed to a specific reason why: BDSM usually requires a lot of upfront honesty about what you want, which is exactly the kind of self-revelation that builds intimacy between partners.
So is BDSM actually a fringe interest?
Not by the numbers. Roughly a third of adults report some interest or experience with it, which means almost everyone knows someone into it, whether they realize it or not — it's just not something most people bring up at dinner.
Reporting on this research is drawn from Psychology Today's coverage by Michael Castleman, M.A. ("BDSM Is Increasingly Mainstream, and It Boosts Intimacy," January 2023), which itself cites Herbenick et al.'s 2017 study in PLoS One, "Sexual Diversity in the United States." If you're just starting to explore what any of this might look like for you, this is a reasonable next read.